Dark days call for dark deeds, and every stoner knows all too well the hardship of smoking resin in a weed drought, and the tools they will have to make to get it done.
There are people who will brag that they have never smoked resin. That they have never stooped so low as to scoop out that icky tar and get a recycled high. Well good for them.
Having spent most of my toking years in Iowa, there have been some serious hard times. Days weeks and months could go by in my hometown before anybody had a solid connection. Simply an issue of geography, really. However in the past decade or so things have gotten a bit better.
Iowa might still be the last in line, but the scraps are better these days, too.
It has been two years since I have had to resort to resin. It has changed my smoking habits a lot. No longer do I prefer to use smokewear that will produce me some of that black gold. My pipe is no longer a secondary resin collector, and so I use better stuff. I get better tastes and better highs since the underlying resin isn’t always being smoked with the flower.
Just like that other stoner kludge I mentioned recently, the homemade pipe, I often look back on the days of resin extraction engineering with fond memories. So today I decided to break the old resin scraper kit out and see what I was missing.
When I found them they were in poor maintenance. They had been left uncleaned for years and had accumulated cat hair and ashes and the souls of lost strains. I had to clean them up a bit to see what I was looking at.
- The Scraper-Scraper: An old kitchen knife worked perfectly as a way to give the other tools a rough clean, as well as to transfer resin from your tools to your bowl or storage container.
- The Blade: This was made from a coat hanger, as were most of the others here. Using a handle I flattened one end and then used a file to make it a spear-like shape. I put a bend at the top for easier handling and better leverage, which became my signature tool design over time. This works well for scraping larger surfaces, like stems or the centers of old metal pipes. And as with all of them, you eventually find other niche uses.
- The Digger: This shovel like scraper has an improved version of my handle. The end of the wire was flattened, bent and filed into shape. It is great for digging and getting around corners.
- The Pusher: This one is all about blunt force. It was mostly used for metal hitters, and was often heated before being inserted to drive a batch out and clear your piece.
- Doctor Combo: One end of this is a cross between the Blade and the Digger, and the other is just a pusher. This was likely made at a point when the others were lost or unavailable and I had some urgent scraping to do.
- The Picker: This pointy little number was filed down so that it could get in the nooks and crannies that the others could not, either for a super-cleansing or severe drought emergencies.
- The Paperclip: Even if you have the best tool kit that you can conceive of and create, at some point the size and flexibility of a simple paper clip will always come in handy, especially in those hard to reach places. And learning to use one well will have you prepared for using one in clog situations away from your home and resin reapers tool kit.
You will also want to have some pipe cleaners, cotton swabs and high strength 90% isopropyl (rubbing) alcohol, as well as some old rags and towels. And when you are done with your scraping adventure and realize your hands are now very stinky, sticky evidence against you in a court of law (your state may vary), clean them up with some dish soap, alcohol and coarse salt.
It stands to reason that greater availability of cannabis and new ingestion technologies will make resin collecting and smoking a thing of the past. These are the things that stoner archaeologists of the future will puzzle over.
What were these tools of 20th century humanity and why were they covered in cannabis tar and pet hair? Was it to preserve them? Was it a religious thing? Was there some great catastrophe that decimated marijuana in that (our) time that led people to desperate acts of cannabis cannibalism? Necro-stoners who took their euphoric nourishment from their own deceased weed in times when there was none to be had any other way?
I can only imagine the hilarious ways that future stoners in the coming Dank Era will interpret the history of these Dark Ages of Prohibition. If you think this seems like madness now, just think about how barbaric it will seem in 300 years.